fate. destiny. love.

Even titanium have their kryptonite.

People say I'm tough and those who know me well will often remark that I am a man trapped in a woman's body.

My mom has said to me, more than once, "If you had a been born a boy, I wouldn't have any problem with you..."

Very accurate statements.

Sue's boyf who grew up roughing it in Liverpool said he's never met a woman who was very direct in word and deed.
I wasn't always like this.

I might just be made of TITANIUM.

I have had guys I dated ask me if I am lesbian.

(Yes, during the date.)

My friend Colin calls me trouble.

He is not wrong to say this as well.

K called me an exotic woman who needs her sun.

This is why he is special- he has me figured out.

And yet I will drop everything in the name of love.

For the love of one man.
And I can't find him...

We all seek the unattainable.

This is a flaw: my one major flaw.

I am abstruse and arbitrary, BUT!

Above all these qualities, I am by and large, a hopeless romantic.

And now I realize the reason I can't figure you out...is because you yourself haven't figured you out.

You need time.

I don't think about men all that much, but I think of you more than usual.

I think less and less of you now... it is getting easier.

Time has really been on my side. 

And work, well, as well... has been pouring so there has been none of the former to think of you.

And just today I realized the time, the distance and the unknown is actually working in my favor.

All my energies are channelled into my work.

My focus is unshakeable... my drive for personal betterment is unperturbed.

Today, in the middle of an Americano and a random thought of you, someone said to me...

"Your lives will intertwine again when both of you are ready."

That did it for me.

I'm done thinking, analyzing, hoping and waiting.

For a love that has no hope of coming full throttle.

I will let you go with 2 things:

(1) The fervent hope that you discover more of yourself from this time till I see you again; and,

(2) When I see you again, we will both be happy and better upgrades of our present selves.

Our lives will intertwine again when both of us are ready.

I'll miss you, goodbye.