Tale of 2 Tweedles.

So, I had a frustrating day with my MDs today.  


Just a backgrounder, since my stress fracture last February, I have had two very qualified doctors who accommodate my five million a minute questions and even check back after vacation.  (I am their favourite, so slap me.)  
For purposes of this post, I shall call them Tweedledoc and TweedleDUMB!  
And even while I get along famously with both blokes, today I was a bit miffed with one (as you can easily guess who!).  


TweedleDUMB ruffled my feathers when he told me in no uncertain terms that I was being a stubborn git for weighing down my left leg.  In all honesty, I wanted to revolt.  After being in crutches for more the 2 months, I thought he'd at least tell me I was a step UP.  He wanted me to walk around in one leg.  I had done this initially but kept slipping in the process, resulting to my landing on my injured left leg.  This would leave physically deranged, as the pain would go on for days on end.  Tweedledoc told me I looked better than the month last.   


Hmm so there I was sat in front of Team Tweedle and my x-ray films thinking I got the raw end of the deal.  Was I being optimistic to a fault and T.DUMB was simply sparing me from further disappointment in a month's time?  T.DUMB reiterated time and time and time again that there must not be any weight bearing activity on my left thigh.  


And when T.doc saw me painlessly and effortlessly stand up, he said, "Truth of the matter is, x-rays are very unreliable at showing bone progress... but looking at you stand up and looking much better, it is possible that you have clinical healing that is not evident in the xrays."  That was when T.DUMB started going off with me not supposed to be doing this and that...blah...blah...blah...a tirade of sorts.  So annoying.

I don't know why but since a month ago, I've enabled my legs to stretch more because I've felt more comfortable to do a wider range of motion.  Maybe T.DUMB thought I was a bit cocky when I told him that I was not in any pain.  To which he retaliated by saying that not feeling pain didn't mean it was healing.  And I countered just as easily with, "Following your line of thinking, just because the x-rays don't show bone healing doesn't mean it wasn't healing."  I don't think he liked my feisty side.  But I wasn't about to be browbeaten by medical literature.  True, he is the doctor with all the medical jargon but, I have owned my body from birth.  

Don't tell me what it cannot do.  Because I will go out there and do it. Better.  

Just to throw you off.

I came home feeling very defeated because of his defeatist mindset.  While Team Tweedle were on opposing ends diagnosis-wise, one thing was certain, four weeks from today, I will undergo another operation.  

 Of course, they're going to cut me up, but whether it's to slice that part of the compression screw that is supporting my femoral head (see... throwing medical jargons ain't so hard!) or to replace the compression screw with another contraption...will be a decision that comes the day I am under their tweedler-hands again.  One month.  My mom and I had had a discussion which got a little heated.  I was tired of waiting for nothing.  It wasn't fun to be on crutches and if I could just have the operation now and get it all over with. ALREADY!  My mom cajoled me to wait on.  Sometimes people think it's so easy to be like this.  It's upsetting. 

God help me.