waiting for rain.

Does it really?

THIS is probably one of the hardest lessons you'll ever learn in life--

Realize that indifference does not dim nor dampen the love you have for someone. 

Would have done you well to learn this early.

Have you ever wondered why the one you love oftentimes falls into a spectrum all his own?

Come to think, he takes over your entire spectrum.
Leaves you wondering what happened. And why it continues to happen. (why...indeed)

Your "the one least likely" most likely was the one who's made the dumb mistakes with you, hurt you (deeply & repeatedly), let you down, loved you all the wrong ways and broke all the important promises that mattered to you.
Still, you just never got over it. It was all supposed to be your sureball Happy-Ever-After.

And never, never, never did you understand why you never never, never took it personally (because wasn't it so damn personal when someone breaks your heart) just cause you loved him anyway.  

And you realized too late that letting go was NOT the smartest thing to do.

Because letting go was akin to a slow dying. 

You had no idea this would hurt more.

Yeah sure, you and he fought all the time and every time you think back, you have all the reasons why it never lasted. 

But you also knew your feelings would always be there.
Only you would know about these feelings.
And you thought they'd fade over time.

(Well, they should... but they don't.)

Why would you rather sit alone in your flat when you should be out with someone who's nice and decent and wants to take you out?

Someones have wanted you & you din't want any bit of it.
Because stubborn git that you are, you know what you want.

Realizations. Realizations.

What was true in London is still true in Shanghai.
(So big cities don't really help someone forget. In fact, it makes you miss them more.)

And as you sit her alone, choosing to be alone, you still hope that one day all this will go away.

That one day someone will sweep you off your feet again.

And one day you will wake up hoping that you won't secretly want it to be the same person.

After all these years.

Not all that wander are lost.
Some of them just sit and silently wait.

PISS.