During his Humanities assignment, Jake asked me why I was gone for a long time. I was dumbstruck by the scene I caught earlier in the evening and remnants of the past came flooding down my memory lane. I wanted to tell Jake my version of the story. But I bit back the bile that was haphazardly dying to come out.
Now as I sit here in my room, I realize there's no point digging up the past. So I simply said, "He and I- we were always fighting. I had a lot of problems about him that time... what if I answer your question another time when you're a little older?" Then he muttered something that sounded like, "Yeah, I know it's complicated. But what about if you apologize to him now?" And all I said was, "Uhmm..." And he proceeded with, "Yes, when achi and I are sleeping..."
I simply didn't have the heart to tell my son that he was hopeful without hope. How I loved him at that moment.
They're the best part of my life. Even when I don't see them.
Now as I sit here in my room, I realize there's no point digging up the past. So I simply said, "He and I- we were always fighting. I had a lot of problems about him that time... what if I answer your question another time when you're a little older?" Then he muttered something that sounded like, "Yeah, I know it's complicated. But what about if you apologize to him now?" And all I said was, "Uhmm..." And he proceeded with, "Yes, when achi and I are sleeping..."
I simply didn't have the heart to tell my son that he was hopeful without hope. How I loved him at that moment.
They're the best part of my life. Even when I don't see them.
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