Queen of Pain

The week that was has been an exercise in humility & resilience for me. And as early as now, I foresee that although things are looking up, tough times are imminently in my periphery.

Monday, February 8, 2010. I worked from home today (in short, absent ako!!) and although there was a nagging pain in my left leg, it had been manageable.  I was able to go up and down the stairs using the skip-to-the-loo method.  Initially I'd attributed it all to marathon DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness).  And at around 7 in the evening, I arranged for a masseuse to give me a two-hour hard massage with the works (stretching and all the bone-cracking movements to relax my body).  How very wrong I was!  I was through by nine and had wanted to go for a quick take-out of skinny latte at my friendly Starbucks.  When I stepped out of the car, I found the stirrings on an extremely sharp pain in my left hip.  It was damn excruciating.  Emphasis on excruciating.  The pain was sharp and unbearable, and all I could do was force myself to make minute steps while trying very hard not to cry. 

I made my way to the Starbucks counter and asked for a coffee.  Went to a drugstore to get a Feldene Flash to lessen the pain.  As I tried walking to the parking lot, every step I made had become a daunting movement that had been unbearably painful.  It was crazy, I thought rather brazenly.  Two strangers who had been watching me from nearby (Sam and Jopie were their names) came to my rescue and with the security personnel they carried me on a chair to the car.  It took us forever to get moving as I had been stubborn beyond belief.  Sam was blown away by my stubbornness.  I was very much against the idea, partly due to my obvious disbelief of what had befallen me.  How could I have been running a half-marathon less than 48 hours ago and have this condition now?  There's been a mistake because these things simply didn't happen to me... or so I thought.  Yabang e.  I managed to get home and the suffering ensued.  I sent a text to my good friend Charlemagne and told him I think I had pulled a muscle in my thigh.  He gave me the name of a good doctor for acupuncture (Dr. Jeff Lipana).  This was Day 1.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010.  I barely slept the night before as the pain was intolerable...and getting worse!  I sent Dr. Jeff Lipana a 7am text message and when he replied, I finally rang him to talk about my condition which I had thought then was a pulled muscle. After a long chat, he said he'd be in Makati Medical Centre for a meeting till noon and had agreed to see me after.  I went to see him at lunch time and he was hesitant to examine me because of the severe pain so he sent me to the ER.  The same ER had dismissed me for the day with a certificate that said i was found to have 'musculoskeletal strain on left thigh.' They were very impersonal and just came back to ask if I needed more meds for the pain.  I would then answer, "Doesnt make sense to take painkillers for just muscle strain, does it?"  Not masochistic or anything, but her diagnosis made me think it was nothing.  I  went back up to Dr. Jeff who asked one of his PTs (a kindly guy named Tristram) to teach me how to use crutches.  That evening, I bought crutches today and would misstep every half minute or so.  And I came home feeling very down and tired- I hadn't slept fitfully since Monday.  I  called my kuya Bill and he said that he and Nelson would bring me to a guy who was good at un-pulling my pulled muscle.  His name was Jeff too (Jeff2).  This was Day 2.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010,  Bill & Nelson came to pick me up at 1pm and we were to head to 'Jeff2' who had a clinic in East Avenue.  An hour before the duo were set to pick me up, I got an unexpected call from another ER doctor of Makati Med who said that my x-rays had been seen by their radiologist and had asked me to come in because I had a small fracture on my pelvic bone.  I was very upset and had unfairly lashed out at the ER doctor who rang me to deliver news of the misdiagnosis.  He kept insisting I see their in-house ortho.  Come to think of it, the radiologist must have known it was a bad misdiagnosis.  I had said to them, in no uncertain terms that they were incompetent mo-fos.  

Props to my smiling nephew Rafa for watching "My Sassy Girl" with me as he tinkers with the iPhoto on my laptop.  

In the evening, I had spoken with my runner friend Berns who gave me the name of Dr. Javier for a check-up.  I've been in & out for 3 days and one thing's for sure- no one has given me one viable prognosis as to what was causing the pain in my hip. I finally got my  x-rays from Makati Med and went home.  I was still in pain, was it my imagination or was the pain progressing??  This was Day 3.

Thursday, February 11, 2010,  Fourth day of barely sleeping, I've started looking like a zombie, I found myself back in hospital today to check with the orthopedic doctor (Dr. Javier) who told me I had a stress fracture.  A bad one.  

Incredulous, he came out of his office to look for me  to see if I was indeed a young specimen.  He says it was quite unusual for someone my age to be experiencing such a severe fracture.  He wanted to admit me into Makati Med and after my extra-rare and extra-tearful reaction upon finally hearing what's wrong with me.  I had a severe tear in my hip.  I had a femoral neck stress fracture.  According to Dr. Javier, I needed to be admitted A.S.A.P.  I am a bit worried about getting an operation and said maybe I needed a 2nd opinion.  It dawned on my by Day 4 that this might be serious and not one of those minor injuries.

Friday, February 12, 2010.   Dr. Canlas had also said it was quite rare for a person my age to have a severe fracture on the hip when she hasn't suffered a bad fall and clearly wasn't running ultra-marathons (>42km).  Berns had asked me today if I've ever been beaten up before.  Dr Canlas asked if i engaged in 'strange' activities.  It was all a funny mix of theories and when I asked why it bordered to the point of deviation, he had said that the fractured hip I had resulted from the trauma of something as grave as a vehicular accident.  It was only then that I realised that sh*t had hit the fan and I was right in the middle of it all.

My operation was scheduled at half three in the afternoon and would be done in an hour but I remember waking up in the O.R. at 730pm. The surgery took longer than expected and they screwed my leg to my pelvis.  I now have pins in my body, a catheter to wee and another for pain control located in my lower spine area.  Very uncomfortable i must say.

WHAT TO EXPECT:  I will be in crutches for the first 4 weeks because I won't be allowed any weight-bearing activities in the meantime.  Bruises along the operated area. Expected healing time will be anywhere between 6-8 weeks.  Another  assessment will be done in 8-12 weeks to assess how far I'd come and from then on he'll make further recommendations regarding my activity.

My diet must be high in calcium and high fibre.  The former to strengthen my bones and the latter to get all the toxins outta my system.  It will consist mostly of oat bran, high calcium skim milk, yogurt, fruit & veggies, lots of fish and foods that speed up my healing.  I can't wait to get out there and start running again!!!

Saturday, February 13, 2010.  I remember asking Dr. Canlas about bearing children after this.  I know I don't look like the type but I am hopeful about having children in two years and this accident throws it off a bit.  I know my humour prevents me from being morose and helps me come up with witty quips like, "i get priority parking for the month!" or "I'm gonna bleep in airports when I go through metal detector contraptions."...but still, this kind of a situation does get to you.  I pray that I am strong enough to believe and rely on my faith to ride me over in the months to follow.  

Movie of the day was Notting Hill.  

Btw, you only get me to smile like that in the pic when the painkillers are all out and happily helping me deal with my leg.  IT numbs the pain and makes me happy.  I wonder what it'll be like tomorrow when   I sever ''happy'' ties with my opiate-y fix.  Can't wait. 

Sunday, February 14, 2010.  Was up by maybe 4am today and looking at my inflamed left thigh now after the post-op, I feel very distressed.  It's about twice the size of my right thigh and the impending feeling of doom in its numbness is obvious.  I am a bit nervous about running again.  I've gone one week without running and already feel debilitated somehow.  

Movie of the day was 27 Dresses.  My obvious love for rom-coms is coming out in shades of pink and purple. lol.  

I've always prided myself on being optimistic but the week has been too much even for me.  The pain has been better than the hell i went through prior to the operation but I still think I have quite a way to go.  Hopefully it will continue to subside in the next few days.

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In hindsight, the way I see it, now that I've a brand new hip, it's more mileage and more action and less pain!!!  I cannot wait to start running again! 

Onwards and upwards!!!